Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Requisition Order: 1 Kid Wrangler

I laughed aloud at this job announcement, which was sent to the Dept. of Mechanical Engineering job list.

Sent: Wednesday, September 26, 2012 1:06:48 PM
Subject: After School sitter needed
Frazzled, overworked mom needs some after-school assistance. Will pay for child care and/or spa services!
Place: Los Altos.
Demographic profile: 3 mostly well-behaved, over-scheduled boys (ages 6, 11 and 13), 3 dogs (one 3-legged, 5-lb wonder Chihuahua, one female skittish black lab mix and one too-smart Border Collie bent on herding all the kids into the pool on any given day).
Mission, should you choose to accept it: Ferry said boys from school to home and then to a myriad of typical after-school activities including, but not limited to, music lessons and soccer practice. In between, throw a ball to the dogs and give them tummy rubs. Maybe fold some laundry.
Days/Time: Mon-Fri, 2:30-5:30. Pay: $20/hr.
Tasks include mostly driving so any applicant must have clean driving record and a reasonably safe car. Can provide a vehicle if your personal roadmaster is not exactly child-safe. Role will include occasional errands like picking up a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread and very light housework - fold a load of laundry, empty a dishwasher, microwave a snack for the kids, homework assistance which, while technically not housework, is always a good way to get out of said housework. Free snacks, beverages and pantry grazing permitted.
Work to begin immediately. Or last week (bonus can be arranged if you can make that happen). Only hard requirement is that you can deal with 3 boys at once, one of whom thinks he’s a bad-ass teenager. But we live in Los Altos so we are not exactly channeling the thug life here. Can I say that in an email? In any event, I’m an equal opportunity employer. Interested applicants should send an email to

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